You know the feeling after college graduation when you'd want to hit the books again because looking for a job and thinking of the future is so unnerving and unnatural? Well, I'm experiencing that now. I know very well that university life has trained me to survive in the real world but the difference between out there and inside the confines of the university is so startling, it makes you want to play it safe and bum around.
In college, I've learned that if I study well in an exam and do all my requirements, I should expect to have that subject aced (unless there's something wrong with the professor). Yes, the predictability of everything comforts me. College provides a sterile environment where karma never goes out of fashion. Outside college, however, you cannot expect the same predictability. Yes, the monotony is broken and everything seems more spontaneous. But spontaneous cannot always be a good thing. What if your boss just doesn't like you and even though you've worked hard as hell, he just wouldn't notice?! I mean, you have no control over what's going to happen unlike in college where you get to decide when to skip sleep if the situation (e.g. Midterms the next day) calls for it. You can't just drop a task (as opposed to a subject) when you don't feel like doing it anymore. And you can't simply ditch work days (as opposed to classes, depending on who's teaching) just because you want to stay in bed longer.
Maybe my reasons are just plain shallow and overly immature. I'm just anxious and a bit afraid to be on my own. And I miss college already! :(
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