I’m nibbling a peanut butter sandwich right now. I try to preoccupy myself by thinking of the spread stuck on the roof of my mouth. I try to listen to “Starbucks presents late night jazz” and try to relate to the songs until I get absorbed by the soothing tunes and eventually become but a tiny, insignificant and unnoticed aberration in the vast range of musical notes.
I do not wish to feel important. I went unnoticed for most of my adolescent years and I could certainly go on further without feeling (and filling) the need to become associated with someone.
I enjoy the simple pleasures of solitude and self-acquaintance.
I love a good read with a cup of coffee and an occasional glance at the people around me.
I guess life cannot maintain that simplicity. You have to experience all sorts of twists and turns to be able to experience it.
-x-x
No one could dispute the fact that one could not remain innocent forever. There is a bridge to cross. That bridge may look wobbly and may frighten you with creaking sounds as you start to tread on it. You have doubts whether crossing it would do you good. But still, you go on with it. There is no turning back. Once you get to the other side, you say to yourself that it will be as if nothing happened. But truth is, you’ve changed inside. The image at opposite end of the bridge is beginning to blur and you try to hold on to the bits of memorabilia you have brought along with you.
-x-x
Everything, back then, has to be in line with theory. Ideal, in other words. I thought there was nothing wrong with wanting things to go your own way, with wishing that the star-shaped mold would work to give you a star-shaped cookie.
Well, honey, I guess molds just apply to cookies…and a bunch of other non-metaphysical stuffs.
-x-x
I’m sorry these words cannot spill out of my mouth as simple as they click away with each push of a key.
